I think I stayed at the caravan site for about 10 months in total, leaving may have been the biggest mistake of my life, I will never know, staying for me was not an option, “he” was still in my mother’s life and in fact would be for a very long time, and I hated living in that “van”, it was not home and still to this day I think 1 week in a caravan is enough for anyone. Anyway events were taken out of my control, my father had found out where we had been taken and were living, he made contact and we, his children were given his new address, so out of spite for “him” I wrote to my father as did my younger sister, we even got a reply. My father read all the time so I guess he had a way with words, well he painted a picture of an idyllic life where he was, with the sea and the country and his dogs and fish pond and it all sounded cosy and nice, later I would learn that words can paint a picture that reality can shatter.
This part is hard to remember, I don’t know why, I have tried to rethink it so many times, but it is still a confused mesh of order and disorder. So what I am going to write is what I believe happened in what order I recall it, I know my sisters have different versions but the reality is, the outcome is the same.
After the letter from my father the urge to leave the site, to go and live the idyll in Devon, that was where he had moved to, was immense. After some discussion and argument my younger sister and I decided that we did not want to stay at the site anymore. Now I have some recollection that my father had threatened my mother that he would get the authorities involved, telling them that we had not been to school and that he knew of her whereabouts, so the council could be informed for any back rent of the house we had run away from, that she would be advised that allowing us to move to Devon with him would be the best option for all.
So it was agreed that my younger sister and I would be collected by our father on a certain day in the summer of 1976 and go and live with him for evermore. I think I was relieved and excited and began to pack and wish the day would arrive sooner, this would not be the wish I would wish for me now, for so many reasons, as I have said leaving the site was a big mistake. I loved my mother and wanted to be with her always but the choices she made meant that I couldn’t be with her any longer, so leaving was what I needed to do, I would miss my other sisters but they could come and visit us whenever they wanted, this was part of the “deal”.
The day arrived and by now the plot we were on was overrun with animals, dogs and cats and ducks and chickens, well I was the proud owner of 2 ducks and they were coming with me, a few nights before us leaving, in a fit of drunken rage “he” had killed one of my ducks because it had shat on him when he picked it up and freaked it out, I used to feel like shitting myself when “he” was in a drunken state. So I was adamant that I was taking my duck with me, my father had other ideas and said there was no room in the car and that it was a long drive and blah and blah and blah, well I said either I go with a duck or I stay with a duck, I got my way, however both me and the duck didn’t live the life we hoped in the idyll of Devon.
